Thoughts of a Sojourner

Our first two years of marriage were times of happiness and joy. We didn’t have all the riches that life could offer and even had moments of challenge. One thing that was never a challenge was our relationship. Yes, we like most young married couples had the typical financial concerns from time to time, but really nothing major. We were still discovering the things about each other’s habits that come when you begin a life together. My contention is that until you begin to live day in and day out with a person you really don’t know them! We had the typical adjustments to each others ways that even after five years of dating that we did not know because until the day we were married, we both lived at home with our parents which I believe made for an even greater adventure because there was mystery left to be discovered in our relationship. We committed ourselves to making our marriage one of a partnership. In any good partnership there are defined roles. We had our roles within the marriage and it worked out great. After two years of marriage, we decided it was time for us to start our family and on April 24, 1992 we welcomed our first child, Lillian Claire to the world. We were over the moon filled with joy! When it came to birth of both of our girls, we decided not to find out whether we were having a boy or girl. Kim said that the birth of a child and finding out if your child was a boy or girl at the time of birth was one of purest surprises that life has for us and she wanted to experience that with both instances of our children being born. Kim’s journey through pregnancy was an adventure in and of itself. She suffered extreme sickness (primarily extreme vomiting) through the entire pregnancy. It was so bad that she required home health assistance through both of her pregnancies. It was during these nine months that I learned just how tough my bride was and how she had a never quit attitude. We endured a lot of tough days during those months, but unknown to me those months would prepare me for taking care of my bride as we would navigate her journey of battling cancer. She and I both would tell you though that every moment of the harshness of those 9 months leading up to the birth of our first born was so worth it. Lillian was born in Decatur General Hospital and I remember Kim & I were filled with joy overflowing and we were scared to death!!…lol. From the very beginning, Kim was such a natural when it came to being a mama. I was amazed as a young dad watching my wife grow into a mom and the way she nurtured and did such an amazing job raising our girls. Lillian of course was the first grandchild for our parents which made this moment in our marriage even more special. Kim and I found such joy in being parents. We made the decision early on that Kim would stay home with our children when they were born until they began preschool or kindergarten. Kim would say through the years that though, we could have had much more materially, nothing could replace the time she would spend with our girls in those early years. When Lillian was about 2 1/2 years old, the doctors discovered that she had condition called Diastematomyelia or in simpler terms Split Cord Malformation. This scared the crap out of us! Without sharing a lot of detail here, this condition basically causes a portion of the spinal cord to split and it normally affects the development and growth of one leg and/or foot and this was the case with Lillian. We made many trips to Children’s Hospital in Birmingham over the first 14-15 years of Lillian’s life. Lillian endured 3 major surgeries, two of which were spinal surgeries. She came through them like a champ and today is a wonderful wife and mother to our two grandchildren (more on the grands later of course!). As parents, we made sure that we instilled in not only Lillian, but also Olivia that we must persevere through adversity and wow did Lillian do this! She would go on to be a huge part of her high school marching band as a majorette and a part of the concert band. She would go on to marry Brandon and as I said earlier is a wonderful mom and wife. Kim and I found so much joy in becoming parents and sharing our life with Lillian as our marriage adventure was still young. Kim would often tell young mothers to savor those early years of being a mom, but in reality Kim savored being a mom her entire life as a parent! After a few years, we decided to build a house and we were blessed to be able to build on a piece of property that was part of my families farm that had been in my family for several generations. We moved into our new home in August of 1997 and it is the place that I still call home today. We enjoyed the process of building and I even more so now because my dad built our home and it allowed me to spend many hours with him working to build our home. We would make so many memories in our new home and those memories hold such a special place in my heart today and I’m sure there will be many more to be made in the future. Kim and I always wanted and strived to make our home a home filled with love, fun and joy and I think we accomplished this goal in large part thanks to her skill of making a house a home. A home where our girls always felt safe and loved. A home where their friends could always be welcomed and feel the love that our home contained. Kim and I were always so thankful for the countless hours spent as parents. I am so thankful for the nearly 28 years Kim and I spent in this house. Of course today, it is much different without her physical presence here with me, but every room here in this house is filled with her touch in some way and I suppose it will remain that way from now on.