Thoughts of a Sojourner

The years since October 2013 had been a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys where Kim’s health was concerned. She had battled through two separate diagnosis’s of breast cancer and at the same time we were blessed with a few years of good health for her. She battled those first two battles with such tenacity and grace. We learned to enjoy the blessings of those cancer free years and learned to relish everyday of good health as a blessing from God. In November of 2023, things would change drastically with news that would present her greatest challenge yet. Kim begin to have some pain in one hip and in her upper right leg. A few months prior to this diagnosis she had developed a terrible infection that caused hospitalization and some scary moments due to her depleted immune system from the many rounds of chemo in the years prior, but in true Kim fashion she beat the infection, however, the next diagnosis would be news that would shake both of us. After a couple different scans, it was discovered that Kim’s cancer from 2013 had metastasized to the bones in her pelvis and right leg. Anyone that knows anything about cancer knows that when a cancer metastasizes, it means that you move from curing the cancer to managing the cancer and that it is basically a terminal diagnosis though many people live for years after their diagnosis. She immediately began 10 rounds of radiation that actually seemed to work to shrink the spots that had developed to the point that they were almost undetectable, however in early February of 2024 more spots were found and promptly treated with good results. Through these two episodes she handled it with such courage and confidence as she always had in the past. During this second dianosis and during the chemo phase she begin to start having a lot of issues with keeping her hemoglobin and platelets at a level that they should be. I made the decision to retire from UPS at the end of February 2024 after 35 1/2 years of service to the company and I am so thankful that I did because it provided opportunity to spend a lot of time together over the next year and it allowed me to care for my bride as her health would drastically deteriorate over the next year. A couple months after I retired, Kim would develop another infection that proved to be a greater challenge than the previous one she had battled. In the midst of her hospitalization and after much testing, it was discovered that she was not only battling the metastatic breast cancer, along with this infection, but she had developed Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS) which is a type of blood cancer that is a precursor to Acute Myeloid Leukemia. MDS develops sometimes as a result of having a heavy load of chemotherapy especially the types of chemo that Kim had to take in order to treat and beat her first two breast cancer diagnosis’s. Everything switched at that point from being concerned with the slow growing metastatic breast cancer which at the moment was under control to trying to beat back this second terminal cancer that had developed because the life expectancy after this diagnosis was much shorter if it did not respond to treatment. She began a new treatment for MDS that involved oral chemo which turned out to be very rough on Kim. We eventually were referred to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, TX in October of 2024 to look into the possibility of having a stem cell transplant and spent 11 days in Houston. The result and outcome of our trip did not provide the news that we hoped for as we were informed that she was not a candidate due to her secondary metastatic cancer. The reality had begin to set in that a cure or remission was likely not to be where the MDS was concerned. As a husband, I honestly was not willing to step into our new reality, but Kim being who she was accepted it with much grace and peace. I was not ready to think about life without my bride. The year 2024 proved to be a year of joy because while the ugly head of sickness and pain reared its dastardly head, Kim and I spent more time together than we had in the previous 33 years. We made many memories together and cherished everyday. Looking back, I would count it as an honor and privilege to be able to care for my bride when she was at her lowest point in her health. While many would probably say it was a sad year, and make no mistake it was a year filled with kicks to the gut figuratively speaking, it was a year that our love for one another grew more than probably in the previous 33 years because we realized how fleeting this life really is and how precious time with those we love is in this life. I would be in awe of the positive attitude, the courage, the determination, the tenacity, the toughness and grace with which Kim handled all the challenges she faced in 2024. Of course, I knew these were all character traits that she possessed, but to see them lived out in living color and share that experience with my bride was such an inspiration and still leaves me in awe. In all these challenges she kept her joy, that beaming smile and that infectious laugh. You may ask, “How?”. The answer boils down to her faith in the Lord and her knowledge that whatever the result of these diagnosis’s would be, that none of the events of our life surprises our sovereign Lord. She lived in the realm of “the peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:6-7)”. In my next blog, I will share about the joy of her last Christmas and how God blessed her with some stability health wise during that last Thanksgiving & Christmas and ultimately about her final days as she would transition from this old world to the portals glory and the presence of our Lord. I ask that you pray for me as I consider what to share about those final days, hours and moments. As always my pray has been and will continue to be as I share our story, that God would be glorified, readers would be encouraged and my bride’s memory will be honored.