Thoughts of a Sojourner

Events in life have a way of shaping us. It has been my observation and experience that events whether they are happy or sad, joyful or tragic or victorious or enduring loss all have a knack for changing us. I do not believe that one navigates life and all the ebbs and flows involved without those events changing us. In most cases when these life changing events come to pass, we all have choices in how we will proceed through life. As a believer in Jesus Christ and believer in the absolute sovereignty of God, I do not believe there is any event that befalls us that is not ordered by the sovereignty of God. If we believe that God is surprised or uninvolved in the events that shape our life then we cannot believe what God says and demonstrates about His character. I do believe though that where the free will of man enters the picture concerning these events is how we respond and the choices we make as a result of life events. For some events that we perceive as tragic, sad or loss, a life of bitterness, sadness and chaos is the result because we allow these feelings to dominate our life and define who we are and how we live. For others, when these same events happen their life make resemble the mythical phoenix rising from the ashes. When life smiles or blesses on us, some will become conceited and full of themselves and yet others will recognize where these smiles and blessings come from and choose to remain humble and share the joy of those mountaintop moments with others while giving glory to God. The fact of the matter though is that much like Job in the scriptures no matter the affairs of life we should give God the glory because everything in life whether perceived as good or bad is for His glory and our good. Personally, I have been allowed by God to navigate the good, the bad and the ugly of life. In losing my bride for example, for a period of time I struggled finding joy, love and peace. I believe these struggles are quite natural for all of us in the human experience. While these struggles are natural, what I have discovered is there must be a place we come to where there is a decision, a choice that must be made that will determine how we will live out our days. In my own experience, I determined that for me there are three key components that have helped my embrace becoming the mythical phoenix that rises from the ashes. Those components are love, joy and peace. On the surface these three things sound so simple, but yet for me they have and are still shaping my life. First, peace is that thing that cannot be purchased, manufactured or be gained from material things. True peace for me comes from first knowing that I am in a right place with our Lord where eternity is concerned. It also comes from a place of being contented with the place you find yourself at where life is concerned. For me, I have peace in the knowledge that our sovereign Lord directs each step of our life and He does not make mistakes. It’s the peace that if my life is pleasing to God then I will not concern myself with how anyone else might try to define what peace should look like in my life. Secondly, joy is a natural by product of peace. We wake each morning with a few basic choices to make concerning that day. One of those things is will we determine to exist in the realm of joy or will we choose to allow the joy-killers of life to steal our joy? What does joy look like? Well, that is an answer that looks different for every person. The things we find joy in differs greatly for each person. I find joy these days in the little things that probably for many years I took for granted. Seeing a sunrise, the sound of birds singing in the morning air, noticing the subtle changes in my garden from day to day, observing a starry sky against the drapery of space, the crackle of fire in a fire pit or just quiet moment reading the scriptures and quite reflection on what I’ve read or a song playing in the background whose lyrics tell the story of the musician that wrote the lyrics. Thirdly, is the component of love. For so many when life throws us a curveball, our love of life and our desire to love or be loved can be crippled. 1 Corinthians 13 is a whole chapter concerning the importance of love. The synopsis of this portion of scripture is that love rules over all the other attributes of life. God created us out of love and created us to love others and receive love. In this stage and journey of my own life love has become that thing that I have found that must needed to be cultivated, rediscovered and that is the biggest contributing factor to embracing joy and peace. I have always loved my family especially my girls and my grands, but with the events of this past year and nearly two months I have determined to love and appreciate them more deeply. My girls bring me much joy in seeing how they have navigated life and all the challenges it presents. They make this daddy very proud! My grands are a joy all of their own! Watching them grow up and seeing their individual personalities develop brings me joy overflowing. The joy of being called Pops is something that words cannot express properly. As I have moved through this 14 month journey, I began to long for love that can only be found in the companionship of that one person to do life with and thankfully through prayer and yes navigating this complicated world of dating in your 50’s I believe God has blessed me to rediscover this missing part of love. I’m one of those weird people that believes in that “it” component of love when you discover that person and yes, I believe that “it” moment has become a real thing again in my life. One of my precious bride’s wishes was that I would find this again in life because she knew the importance of this love because we shared this love for 34 wonderful years. When I reflect on those conversations with her during those last weeks and months, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for her unselfish love for me. I do not believe for a moment that I could have the peace that I have in this area of my life right now if not for those very hard conversations, but now I am thankful for those conversations. I have dated in these last few months, but until I met Teresa Ann I had not felt that “it”. I get it for some reading this you may say, its too soon, its not right, etc., but one of the things that I have said often and that I have taken on as defining statement on my life is, “Outside of God, I will not allow anyone to define my happiness”. I have found and I am existing in a place of joy, peace and once again love and for that I am grateful beyond measure! I look forward to this journey of life now and cannot wait to experience all the adventures and events that it holds in store for me!