Thoughts of a Sojourner

The journey shared so far has included first dates, courtship, the proposal and the wedding. Kim and I were married on a Friday evening at 6:00pm on August 17, 1990 at First Baptist Church, Athens, AL. Our wedding was a beautiful wedding, but yet simple. Kim and I loved the word “simple”. Yes, we loved adventure as a couple and loved to travel, try new things, try new types of food, meet new people and just enjoyed life together as a couple. From the very start we believed that marriage should be an adventure enjoyed together. While we both had things we enjoyed doing alone or with friends, our marriage was pretty much defined by doing things together. Normally if you saw one of us, you saw the other one. We genuinely loved being with each other and we were happiest when we were together. Our marriage started very simply from a financial, home and things perspective. For example, even our honeymoon was simple. We escaped for 3 days in the mountains of Gatlinburg. Some would say, “3 days, that’s it?”…lol. Well, it was three days because I had just been promoted from a part time position with UPS as a truck loader to a full time driver and had to report to work the following Wednesday after our wedding on Friday!! We thought nothing of it because it was just what we had to do. We didn’t start in an extravagant house, but started our life together in a small mobile home, but we were so happy with our home because we were together as husband and wife. This attitude defined our marriage for 34 wonderful years. I worked for UPS and Kim worked at First Alabama Bank & life was good! From the very beginning, Kim made our house a home (there is a difference in just a house and it being a home). We shared so many memories in those first two years before God would bless us with our first daughter Lillian. Most of those memories were just simple things but they were defined by love, laughs and fun. Again, we didn’t require a lot to be happy as long as we were together. Whether it was just an evening watching TV or listening to music or a night out with friends for dinner, we had fun! Now did we ever argue or fuss? Oh heck yeah we did a little, but we learned some things about those moments. First, when you fight, fight fair. Second, be careful with your words because they can hurt more than actions. Third, never go to sleep angry even it means you talk it out through the night and fourthly make up quickly (and always with a hug and a kiss) and move on with life. We learned to compromise and learned that most of the time what we were fussing about was in reality pretty silly in the end. Thankfully those moments were VERY few and far between. I know so many couples that seem to constantly live in a state of strife. I am so thankful, to have shared life with someone that understood that life is too short not to be enjoyed together in a state of happiness. Our early years were not defined by fine homes, fine cars, piles of money, luxuries, but rather discovering ways to make life more fun together. Could we have worked more hours to make more money early one in order to have all the material things that define so marriages? Well yes we could have done these things, but we decided very early on that material wealth and things could never define happiness in marriage. We valued our time together and now that my bride is in heaven, I am so thankful for the humble beginnings of our marriage. I am thankful for the quite nights at home, cooking a meal together, watching TV or a movie in our VCR (streaming did not exist then…lol), valuing romance and continuing to “date” each other. Those are moments that you can’t replace with stuff or money. They are priceless and especially now. I look forward in the next few weeks sharing about our life when our girls came along. If you read this, you may think, “Well there was nothing really extraordinary about our early years”. I would vehemently disagree if that is your thinking, because we enjoyed the one commodity that life gives that can never be replaced, bought or relived – time. Our time spent those early years are etched in my memory never to be erased or forgotten because it was spent with my best friend, my lover and my bride. Just wow, the memories we made together as newlyweds!! Until my next writing, get out there and enjoy life with the one you love!!